Phase 3 revisited

Yeah, it's been a long "tomorrow". Sorry, folks. Busy life.

Moving on...

Rebuilding Phase 3

Again, I feel like most of the pre-written questions at this phase ARE important.

However, they are intimate. And most people don't like to talk about them until they get to know a person well.

And the answers create barriers, instead of helping couples discover their compatibilities.

Now, a lot of my wiser readers will point out, "People don't NEED to ask picky questions. In fact, eHarmony lets people write their own questions, if they want to."

And, yes, I think that self-written questions should remain an option.

However, when you provide inappropriate pre-first-date questions as your "stock" choices, it encourages people to write questions in a similar fashion.

So, is there a better alternative?

I think there is.

A long time ago, the emails that eHarmony used to notify people that they had a new match available contained some sentences that helped to demonstrate commonalities.

For example, it pointed out that people shared interests in travel. Or movies. Or valued their friendships.

Truth be told, I didn't like these emails that much, and was happy when eHarmony changed them. Alone, this data is too vague to create interest.

But, if they used this data to create question stems that encouraged people to describe things they may have in common... I can see something that might work well.

For example, if both people like travel, eHarmony could suggest stock questions like: "Describe the best vacation you've ever taken". Or, "What is your favorite vacation spot? Why is it your favorite?"

If relationships are important, ask them to describe them. Good questions might include, "Tell me about your best friend." Or, "Tell me about a quality that you and your best friends share."

And when people share interests in movies or books? Encourage people to talk about them.

Remember: The goal of matchmaking is to demonstrate commonalities - not to build walls.